There is something about cows, cowheads and names sounding like cows that seem to create a whole lot of controversies in BolehLand.
The latest is about how much does it really cost to rear cows. And a lot of parties involved have been feeding, pun intended, us a lot about where the beef is or whether the agency, the National Feedlot Corporation (NFC) with links to Madam Minister hubby's link is doing a curi-curi Malaysia, not related to tourism though, but nonetheless connected to allegation it may be feeding itself the fodder, green cash in this sense, than giving fodder, green grass that is, to the cows or lack of cows!
To put the issue in context, the 2010 Auditor-General’s Report said the NFC project of which RM250 million soft loan was given to the company owned by Cabinet minister Datuk Seri Shahrizat Jalil’s husband to create Malaysia’s “Beef Valley” had turned into a mess.
Even 1Malaysia is riding in on the cow issue to defend, as this BN government always does - that satu lagi projek BN, is always for the benefit of the people and always successful and never a failure and that the opposition or in this case, the AG is wrong, huh?
The BN's government defence was coming out with a whole of of statistics to beef up their defence that the project was never a failure. Seems it cost the NFC RM141 million to produce the 8,016 head of cattle, which is 22 times more than the ministry’s original estimate of RM6.37 million to rear 9,000 cows annually.
If it is so then it costs cowabanga RM17,589.82035928144 to rear one cow! What the heck do they feed the cows with, tongkat ali, caviar, shitake mushroom soup, foie gras, champagne, shark fins, huh? Did they go on a lawatan sambit cuti to the land of the rising sun and sinking Yen to learn how they pamper the wagyu cattle.
Did our BolehLand cows get manicure and pedicure, were migrant workers employed to massage them and the cows had piped in Biarlah Rahsia music or 52" flat screen to watch the Kim Kardishan's break up marriage huh? That may explain the expensive cost similar to the amount some datins spend their time at a 'fat farm' to burn off those flabs eh?
And who in cow's name eat these expensive cows! Are they rearing it for their hide to produce local branded bags for all sorts of first ladies or first lady of sorts huh?
The government officials are now all behaving like some High Chaparral cowbois experts, giving lots of justification that the 'Beef Valley' is a success and that there was not abuse of power in the federal government’s spending on this NFC project.
Why didn't they object to the AG when the audit was being done and issued? Will they later find the ultimate answer that the AG officials were vegetarians or white meat eaters and don't know a moo about cattle breeding huh?
And who in cow's name heard of a 'Beef Valley'? This 'Beef Valley' project is not a rare beef, pun intended, project we folks hear from the BN fellow. The BN government has a fondness of proclaiming that they have come up with impressive, fail safe, valleys and corridors?
We have heard of names like Silicon Valley, Proton Valley, Sugar Valley, Biotech Valley, Traditional Arts and Crafts Valley, Malaysiawood Movie Valley and then there were this Hub and that Hub and then this Corridor, that Corridors!
Gosh so many valleys, hubs and corridors, you'd think BolehLand consists of one huge interconnected RAM microchip. The only thing we folks get a feel of is being rammed up with stories of mismanagement, wastage, debts and whole lot of hogwash on a beef issue this time!
Don't be surprised when the BN fellows are overdone with, pun intended, or run out of justification and excuses, they will try and accuse Pakatan fellos of also wasting money on underground deals such as a certain sPICE project that is receiving afterburner heat from the UMNO and BN langs in Penang. Seemed they are accusing the rocket man of cheating the Penang folks including the mamaks and bumis having to end up paying RM697 debt each for the project. More on this in later blog.
But for the moment, let's not stray from the BN langs showing their cow sense and brains or lack of it and they don't seem to give a moo about the expensive cows they rear! Gosh with that kind of money one would think the cows are being reared as pets! Come to think of it since it's a 'Beef Valley' thingy, it is a BN pet project to show us that they know a thing about cows than support people parading cows eh?
But there is a lot of pride in the BN fellows. If the Beef Valley seem to become overcooked with failure, they have another fail proof plan to raise the st(e)ake to make it a success. Bring out the 'privileges and rights' card. Tell the people it's a bumiputra company, we need to uplift their entrepreneurial and business skill, we need to pump in more money to help them become expert cowbois and pump in more green feed, money that is.
The end is probably going to use taxpayers' money for a cowa-bankrupt supermoo project and the only well done, pun intended, thing about this project is the BN government will pat themselves on the back and that of the owner of the company with a 'well done job sudah berjaya jadi kaya dalam venture ini, (successful in being rich from this venture), right?
So are ordinary beef eating or vegetarian folks convinced of all the explanations that there was no corruption, waste or just another grandiose plan that seem to feed the pockets of those running it than feed the people and bring the price of beef down? Surely with such a cost on the cow's head, pun intended, one can't really expect to pay cheaply for it right?
Finding the truth is like looking for the beef in the haystack! The explanations this far we hear stink like the cow's flatulent. All these politicians do when they open their mouth is trying to behave like the cow's swashing away the truth flies with their ta(i)les! They are just gasbags when they open their mouth which only serves to contribute to global warming like what the cows are being accused of too yeh?
So where is the beef or rather where is the feed to this beef fiasco? What cow proof hide explanations will they come up with next that will end this expose? Perhaps the Britannica dream PR team will think up of asking 1Malaysia to say that the cows are all being donated for the holy korban festival? Now how cool can that be and that will surely close the pen on this beefy subject right?
This will surely end all these horsing around about corruption scandal and plots on this beef issue doesn't it? Everyone trying to get a slice of juicy stories of wrong doings will have to be contented with having an empty plate in their pursuit for the truth, hah!
But then God being God is Great, when you have cows or cattle as they prefer to call it, you'd expect to have horses around too right?
One wonders if the AG has a great sense of humour in highlighting the cattle issue as well as also reporting something about spending RM5 million to buy horses, not for rounding up the cattle though, but supposedly for some championship competition. Seems we are also taken for a ride on this purchase.
Form cowabanga to hee-haw, now there is truth in blogs and what we hear in cyberworld that in the corridors of power and the August House, it is like an animal farm and a zoo too, right? Cow sense, monkey brains, stubborn mules, asses & donkeys, slimy snakes, amphibians abound among these polluticians! - YAHMEH!!!
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