Sad 2010 Merdeka for Malaysians, How Can we Be Proud of Malaysia, our country when UMNO is racists and religious extremists?

There has been a lot of fuss as of late about National Day and how it was sampled in a critique of Malaysian government and society. But it occurs to me that amidst all this hubbub, hardly anybody has given the matter of the actual Merdeka any significant thought?

It seems to me that nobody has bothered to think about what the national day (merdeka) means. Nobody has bothered to ask whether we truly have something to celebrate in our nation's 53th year of independence.

Oh, yes, we've managed to somehow not be colonised by any other country for fifty three years. But what good is that if we are still slaves to distant rulers who we rarely, if ever, see?

But how can we celebrate, when there is so much to make one be ashamed of being Malaysian? How can we take pride in having squandered our independence by letting politicians plunder our natural wealth for their own ends, all the while neglecting the needs and wants of the Malaysian people?

The human rights activists of course keep finding reasons to hide their faces. Be it the Internal Security Act, Sedition Act, or simply religious freedom, these people can expostulate at length on how saddened they are that their country is associated with this barbarism.

Those who remember why these laws came into being have reason to be ashamed, too. Malaysians were promised freedom after the end of the communist insurgency, which necessitated temporary precautions, but this promise has been broken. In effect, our founding fathers have been betrayed — they have not bequeathed any meaningful independence to us in our own country.

And yet, these laws have proven to be completely ineffective in fighting the threats facing modern Malaysians.

How can we be proud when all our education teaches us is to be racist what the government has dictated? Now the teachers have joined the crowd to be racists, among one recent case in Johor.

Most shamefully, how can I be proud of my country, when politicians bastardized the policies.......

It does not have to be this way. There is so much more we could have accomplished in 53 years of merdeka which we have failed to do. We might not be in a position where every child in Malaysia knows that if they have the ability, they can be Prime Minister but we would at least not be in a position where only those born into a certain race, a certain class, are assured of a particular future.

What is most shameful is that, in the view of many, I have no right to call this country negaraku or my country. As part of the kaum pendatang, I am at best a second-class citizen, who can easily be told to balik tongsan whenever I do not like something about the way this country is run.

Truth be told, I am numb, and I am tired. I may be outraged by all this bullshit, but that outrage is like the pain of a numb limb slammed against the wall — it is felt, but in a disjointed and disconnected way, like it does not belong.

I don't want to say I have given up, because I don't think there are many things in this world worth giving up on — especially not this country.

But these things I say, they tire me. I have read them too many times before, written them too many times before. For far too long, I have heard the same old tripe from the same old bigots and chauvinists — that I do not belong, that this is not my country, that I am not a true Malaysian. I am a second-class citizen, for I apparently have all the responsibilities of a citizen, but none of the privileges of citizenship.

I've found a sort of broken beauty in Negaraku my country that I find, depressingly, not enough people seem to appreciate. Malaysia still carries some sort of poignancy in it, some reflection of the beauty that this nation could be....

30/08/10

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