Is Zulkifli Noordin an idiot or PKR?

When right is wrong

OCT 28 — I recently went out with a group of friends I haven’t seen since college and one of the best things that happened was also the scariest. You see, these are basically the individuals who are impassioned by their love for a certain religion to the point that they think that everyone should be subject to the religious laws.

We’re talking about the likes of Zulkifli Noordin, but more radical.

What surprised me was that when I asked for leave to go clubbing, which I do rather often on Fridays and Saturdays, it wasn’t enough that I got angry stares, I also got a lecture on how the dance floor could eventually lead to sex.

At the time, my reaction was simple.

That’s the idea.

This, of course, led to another furore about how people who partake in pre-marital sex should be stoned to death.

At this point, I basically cracked by cynically pointing out that the nation couldn’t afford to purchase that much marijuana to implement the law of “stoning” people to death.

Retarded religious right wing

Let’s face facts, folks.

We have retards for right-wing politicians in Malaysia. From the social to religious conservatives, it’s not the fact that they’re not educated. It’s merely the fact that they would rather pretend to be retarded and rhetorical than face cold hard truths that burst their bubble.

Let’s start with the religious right wing, which are currently being the most moronic bunch of all.

Zulkifli Noordin, who will hopefully NOT be running for re-election in the next general election if PKR has any brains at all, started the first day in Parliament by putting forth a motion that alcohol and condoms be prohibited from sale in convenience stores.

Because, as you all can sarcastically see, alcoholics and people who practice safe sex are a similar threat to the nation as thieves, robbers, white-collar criminals and some guy who sold Kolej Kemahiran Tinggi Mara Balik Pulau two Acer laptops for RM86,000.

Seriously, I can’t even look at my friends from Kulim without thinking that they voted for an idiot.

This is, of course, in line with the belief of the Muslim Consumer Association president’s stance on condoms for married couples, who stated on “101 East” that having sex with condoms “has no feeling”.

Then we have PAS in Kelantan which wants to stop promoting people who smoke. Honestly, just how daft are the rules in this state?

If PAS wants to stop smokers it’s easy. For every muktamar or gathering they hold, screen each person for cigarettes and confiscate them.

Besides, isn’t PAS “for all”?

Racial radicals

But of course, how could we discount the racial right wing?

I mean, who else could come up with the absurd to even suggest banning fantasy and superstitious horror movies from television if not the Umno bimbos in pink.

While the male youth of the party go out suggesting discounts on cars and rebates for the first-born, we have the female youth coming out with, of course, the major cause for Malay children to be screwed up.

Harry Potter, "Twilight" and perhaps even Tan Sri P. Ramlee movies, which are also considered fantasy unless Umno somehow believes Laksamana DoReMi to be true.

But then, if they could actually believe the notion that they can wield a keris on stage and protect all 27 million Malaysians with it, they’d probably buy the idea of a magic harmonica that grants wishes too.

Left, right and dead centre

Most Malaysian voters are “swingers”; they switch their votes on a whim depending on who’s more convincing.

This was rather obvious when the party that backed the PR, the Makkal Shakti, switched sides during the Bagan Pinang by-election.

I honestly agree with Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim, that the media plays a big role in determining an election, particularly the more credible and independent online media which highlights every single drama taking place within the ranks of the Pakatan Rakyat coalition.

It’s a good thing because for once the rakyat no longer cares for propaganda pieces from either side. I mean, reading recent comments in an article on The Malaysian Insider which basically branded Zulkifli Noordin an idiot made me weep tears of joy.

With the 1 Malaysia tagline being “People First, Performance Now”, I think it is worthwhile that the people stick it to our politicians, a very basic point that perhaps our leaders on both sides have misinterpreted.

By the definition of “performance”, we do not mean “wayang kulit”, “cerekarama”, soap operas or even badly-written political dramas and ill-conceived fights and internal spats over issues that make Kimora’s "Life in The Fab Lane on E!" seems relevant.

If people wanted that, they’d be buying DVDs of “The West Wing”.

MI
28/10/09

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